Monday, August 20, 2007

NFL Jokes

So I finally put down the Xbox 360 controller to take a break from Madden, and stumbled upon this hilarious article on's timesucking entertainment section known as Page 2. Note that in order to understand most of the jokes, one needs to be quite well informed in regards to football news.

Among some of my favorites:

The first week of camp was spent convincing new head coach Cam Cameron that his playbook consisting of 450 pages of the words "Give the ball to LaDainian Tomlinson" would not work well for the Dolphins.

Cincinnati's defensive line will be harder to penetrate this season as all of them are shackled together.

Peyton Manning missed a day of camp to film an eBay commercial in which he attempts to sell his brother Eli to another family.

Vince Young just punched his agent for talking him into the Madden cover.

Coaches say new Broncos running back Travis Henry has all the tools necessary to thrive in Denver's system. He has legs. And also arms, a torso and a head.

Players who have finished reading Al Saunders' 700-page playbook were shocked to discover that Harry Potter dies at the end.

On the first day of camp, Lovie Smith became the first black coach to open a training camp after losing the Super Bowl.

Brett Favre and his receivers spent much of camp working on timing patterns in which Favre heaves the ball wildly down the field and his receivers try to pull it out of the air just before the defense intercepts it.

The Saints worked hard on a new ball-control, clock-eating offense, consisting mainly of one play in which Reggie Bush runs around and around in circles for two minutes, ultimately gaining just a single yard.