First Round Predictions

Normally the first round is more of a formality, a week to ten days where the top teams warm up for the more intriguing second round matchups. This year, however, we know championship caliber teams will knock each other out. In a season which began with critics calling the NBA too predictable, its popularity wavering after poor Finals ratings, ridden with a referee betting scandal, and its best players wanted help and demanded trades, the NBA has completely turned the other way and it is on path for one of its greatest years ever. In fact, there has never been a more anticipated and unpredictable NBA Playoffs like the ones that begin this Saturday.

predicted winners in bold

Eastern Conference

1 Boston Celtics vs 8 Atlanta Hawks

The concern is whether Kevin Garnett can lead the Celtics past the Pistons. What everyone forgets is that Ray Allen, Paul Pierce, and Sam Cassell are far better at performing in the crunch time of big games. Pierce and Allen each have carried their teams to the Eastern Finals before. Cassell won playoff series with the Wolves and Clippers. The Wolves and the Clippers, guys. Allen put the Sonics on his back in 2005, dominating a first round series against Sacramento and pushing the eventual champion Spurs to six games. Look for Garnett to anchor Boston's great defense, but Allen and Pierce to take over late in games.

4 Cleveland Cavaliers vs 5 Washington Wizards

It is actually a disadvantage for Boston to be the #1 seed, because both Cleveland and Washington have a shot at upsetting them in the second round. Washington won their last three against the Celtics, and are more of an unknown with Gilbert Arenas now back and coming off the bench. This is the one Eastern to watch though, as the Cavs have ended the Wizards' last two seasons creating a little bit of a rivalry here. Remember Lebrons' trash talking to Arenas at the free throw line at the end of the first series? Cleveland never really got it together after the trade deadline deal, but the real reason I pick against them is because of Lebron James' bad back spasms. If he somehow gets healthy, he can single handedly win the series. Just ask the Detroit Pistons.

2 Detroit Pistons vs 7 Philadelphia 76ers

The 76ers have been on a hot streak in the second half of the season. Too bad they had to run into the Pistons, who are built for the playoffs.

3 Orlando Magic vs 6 Toronto Raptors

The Orlando Magic certainly have the ability to make some noise in the playoffs. Dwight Howard is a lot like Shaq in his early days - dominating, but unable to take over late in games because of his inability to effectively pass out of double teams. I do not expect Hedo Turkoglu and Rashard Lewis to be big time enough to take out the Pistons in the second round.

Western Conference

1 Los Angeles Lakers vs 8 Denver Nuggets
Remember the first 8 seed to upset a 1 seed? Not the Warriors, not the Knicks. It was the Denver Nuggets against George Karl's Seattle Sonics. Denver has the ability to score, and you know Allen Iverson and Carmelo Anthony will rise to the occassion and give the Lakers all they have. Problem is, the Denver Nuggets have no chance against a offense based on passing and execution like the Lakers' triangle. Pau Gasol is an all-star and Lamar Odom is playing out of his mind. Derek Fisher, the Lakers' most underated addition this year, will continute to make plays in the playoffs. Oh, and they also have some MVP guy wearing 24. There will be a need for Andrew Bynum later in the playoffs, however.

4 Utah Jazz vs 5 Houston Rockets
Houston has homecourt in this rematch of last year's only seven game series. Last year, each team won all their home games until Utah stole a thrilling Game 7 in Houston. But that was with Yao. Just like last season, look for Utah to win all their home games and steal one on the road. Jerry Sloan is a brilliant playoff coach, and Deron Williams and Carlos Boozer are the best two players that no one watches. I look forward to them giving the Lakers fits in the second round.

2 New Orleans vs 7 Dallas Mavericks
No, it is not because of the playoff experience factor that everyone is talking about. It is because last night when these two teams happened to play each other, Jason Kidd and Dirk Nowitski showed that they can go on a whole another level when it comes to winning the big games. We have not seen that from New Orleans.

3 San Antonio Spurs vs 6 Phoenix Suns

• I am not picking because I cannot decide. I really do not know. So let me tell you what I do know.
• The Spurs and Suns played in a series that what was practically the NBA Finals last year. The Suns were a Nash bloody nose and a Amare and Diaw suspension away from potentially winning the series.
• But these are not the same two teams. Grant Hill and Shaq are now in for the Suns. With Amare and Nash, has there ever been a team with four former MVP candidates?
• The Spurs are not the same team either. Manu Ginobli has emerged as the Spurs best player this year. If his groin is healthy, he is up there with Kobe and Lebron as the best clutch perfomers. That is right folks, this entire glorious NBA season make come down to Manu Ginboli's groin.
Tony Parker will be able to score at will. Steve Nash is way too slow to keep up with him, and Shawn Marion, whose length contained Parker in the past, is long gone.
Anyone else notice how everyone forgot about Leo Barbosa? He is good for a random offensive explosion that could win a game.
Fouls will be huge. Amare and Shaq on the same floor is next to impossible to stop. Duncan needs to stay in the game as much as possible.
Bruce Bowen is slipping and Robert Horry and Brent Barry are not 100%. They are crucial, as Barry adds another sharp shooter to go alongside Michael Finley. And everyone knows Robert Horry is good for a couple of clutch plays to win a playoff game or two.
This is the Spurs' big cactus sized problem: Tim Duncan has never gotten past Shaq. The Suns acquired Shaq mainly to guard Duncan, so the Spurs went out and got Kurt Thomas to guard Shaq.
Nash. Parker. Hill. Manu. Raja. Bruce. Finley. Barbosa. Amare. Thomas. Shaq. Duncan. This is madness. Madness? This is not madness, this is...where amazing happens.
So while I am not man enough to pick a winner of this series, I am going to make an even bolder prediction regarding this awesome Spurs - Suns matchup: Winner is champion.

Told You So

I am going to toot my own horn today, because considering the wacky turns that we have seen this season, I realized I was still somehow right about a lot in my 2007-2008 NBA Predictions:

• Most Valuable Player: Kobe Bryant


• Rookie of the Year: Kevin Durant. By default. Only other 19 year old rookies to ever average 20 points are Lebron and Melo.


• Most Improved Player: Andrew Bynum was the leading candidate until his injury.


• Coach of the Year: Rick Adelman will not win it either, which brings us to...


• The Houston Rockets. I picked them to go to the Finals, and might have been right if not for Yao's fractured leg. Still though, their record setting 22 consecutive wins was the league's running headline for a while, and the emergence of Scola and Landry make them a likely candidate to make some noise this year and contend next year.


• The Portland Trail Blazers. I had them correctly finishing third in their division, and named Roy and Alridge as the next great duo. Is there any team that has a more promising future with Greg Oden coming in next year to anchor in the defense and open up the floor for teammates on offense?


• The Spurs tend to wear down towards the end of the season. Now, the West is wide open thanks to injuries to Ginobli, Horry, and Barry.


• Dirk Nowitski is not good enough for the Mavs to win. They apparently realized this and traded for Jason Kidd, a proven veteran who knows how to win in the playoffs.


• The Orlando Magic will win the Southeast division. It is hard to believe that Miami was the preseason favorite here, but Turkoglu's emergence as a big time player led Dwight Howard and Rashard Lewis to the top of the East.


• The Boston Celtics will win 60-70 games. This seems like a given now, but remember that before the season many were unsure as to whether the Boston Three Party would have enough support to take the East so easily.

If you read this much, then you will be happy to know I was completely wrong on some predictions as well:

• The Memphis Grizzlies will finish ahead of the New Orleans Hornets. Could I have been more wrong?


• The Chicago Bulls will win the Central Division. Instead, they self-destructed amongst all the trade rumors, contract years, and fired Scott Skiles on Christmas Eve.


• The Philadelphia 76ers are still rebuilding. They made a late season run and are suddenly an up and coming team.

Always fun to see how predictions turn out. Now that is over with, stay stuned for some playoff predictions.

Hope?

The five stages of grief are as follows: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression...and HOPE. Well, I can say that we Sonic fans have been through all of them at this point, and today further news breaks:

Former Sonic owner Howard Schultz wants the Sonics back, and is suing Clay Bennett on the basis that the sale was made with the legal agreement that a good faith effort was to be made to keep the Sonics in Seattle.

If this turns out to be as big of a deal as it could be, Sonic fans boycott of Starbucks may come to an end.

The Final Game

Last night Gary Payton showed up to the house that GP built, KeyArena, for what may end up being the final NBA basketball game played in Seattle, Washington. The fired up crowd willed the otherwise woeful Seattle Sonics onto a 99-95 comeback victory over the playoff bound Dallas Mavericks. The last two big buckets were scored by a clutch 19-year old fellow named Kevin Durant.

The Seattle Times, Sports Illustrated, and ESPN all had great pieces on this sad special night.

Curse of the Shaquino

From ESPN.com's Marc Stein:

"I like Big Cactus. Why? Because I'm old and because nobody really knows what type of cactus I am. But I will prick your ass if you touch me the wrong way."

--- Suns center Shaquille O'Neal, delving into the truly important stuff -- now that his new team has its on-court business flowing so nicely -- by explaining why he sees no need to amend his latest nickname, as you might have expected, to the Big Shaq-tus.

O'Neal, furthermore, is not dropping his latest inflammatory assertion that Orlando's Dwight Howard has not earned the right to associate himself with Superman, as Shaq has done for years. "Anyone can win a slam-dunk contest," O'Neal announced last week. "The real Superman is dead. He was assassinated by Pat Riley. I'm the Big Cactus now and ready to roll again."

That quote popped into my head when I saw Shaq on Monday wearing a pair of custom-made Superman sneaks on his way out of practice. When I jokingly asked him what he was doing with Dwight's shoes on, Shaq promptly (and sternly) informed me (after a few unprintables) that Howard still has to "get past the Shaquino" in the playoffs for such a privilege.

If you're losing track -- not hard when it comes to Shaq and all of his monikers -- "Shaquino" is a reference to what is known among Magic fans as the "Curse of the Shaquino," which blames O'Neal's abrupt free-agent defection to the Lakers in the summer of 1996 for Orlando's subsequent decade-plus of woe.

Trophy Wives

Normally I am not a big fan of reading stuff like this, let alone sharing it. But this quote sparks some interesting debates:

"Men are very sensitive to women's attractiveness. Women seem to be sensitive to men's height and salary."

Well, no duh.

Kobe Got Hops

Crooks

The owners of the Sonics are crooks and liars.

Nazi Olympic Torch

Steve Kelly has a nice column on the Olympic torch, its Nazi roots (!), and says given the protests the whole torch relay should be scrapped anyway.

Kansas tops Memphis

Memphis' poor free throw shooting and lack of execution in the closing moments allowed Kansas to force overtime and go on to win the NCAA national championship last night. If you did not watch one of the greatest and most important college basketball games ever, shame on you.

By the way, Derrick Rose would still fit perfectly alongside Kevin Durant.

Denver & Seattle

120 - 103
138 - 96
168 -116

Those were the final scores of the previous three meetings between the Denver Nuggets and the Seattle Sonics this season. So when last night's game was to be televised on NBATV, I was justified in deciding to boycott watching a game I would otherwise be excited for in what is playing out to be the worst season in Sonic history. Besides, the NBA season is wrapping up, and fans of teams that are no longer in the running for the playoffs are actually rooting for their team to lose more games in order to increase their odds at a higher lottery pick to draft, say, a Derrick Rose. So, of course, this happens:

Maybe it was the start of something special between a pair of rookies with limitless potential.

In front of 13,104 fans at KeyArena who stood and cheered for the game's final 10 minutes as if it were a playoff, Durant drained a pair of clutch three-pointers and Green dominated on the perimeter and beneath the rim during a 151-147 double overtime victory that snapped a five-game losing streak and hurt Denver's playoff chances.

Both rookies finished with career-best scoring performances. Durant had 37 points on 11-for-24 shooting and Green sank 14 of 21 shots for 35 points.

--- Percy Allen, The Seattle Times

*sigh* Another night in the life of a poor Seattle Sonics fan.

More FNL

I am far from done from shamlessly promoting one of the best shows on television, Friday Night Lights. Today's shameless plug comes from the Baltimore Sun.

Gisele's Assets

Now seriously, what did you think the above title was referring to?

We traditionally think hot girls latch onto rich guys for their money, but Gisele Bundchen's $33 million earned in the past year dwarfs Tom Brady's $10 million annual salary. Gisele is supposedly worth a whopping $150 million.

FNL to return

The best show that no one watches on television is returning for a third season. Friday Night Lights will return for the fall on DirecTV, then will have a later run on NBC in early 2009.

Money Madness

PayScale has a fun look at how the NCAA basketball tournament would turn out if alums' median salaries were used to determine winners.

The top four by median salary:

Stanford ($113,000)
Notre Dame ($99,100)
Duke ($96,800)

Cornell ($93,900)

Depression

Normally I like to stay away from the mainstream news because there are obviously a lot of better articles to read than my own take, but this picture is just...well, depressing.

wm24

Nothing quite like childlike memories. Some of my favorites were watching the old WWF, with their electrifying moments when the likes of The Rock and Stone Cold would burst onto the scene with 20,000 crazy fans exploding as they would entertain and wrestle. While either the quality of has dimished or I have either grown out of what is a hard interest to keep up, I still try to stay informed with the happenings of the new WWE. Wrestlemania 24 took place at the Citrus Bowl in Orlando, Florida today, with big names such as John Legend, Snoop Dogg, Floyd Maywheather, Reggie Bush, Kim Kardashian, and LenDale White making appearances alongside WWE superstars Randy Orton, Big Show, John Cena, Triple H, The Undertaker, Shawn Michaels and more.

Four Couples

With Wrestlemania 24 this Sunday, Sports Illustrated brought up a very interesting idea asking who would win in an intergender tag team match between four athlete-celebrity couples:

New Orleans Saints running back Reggie Bush and...uh, actress Kim Kardashian

They would probably win the wrestling match due to their uh, sheer athletic ability. Reggie Bush is freakishly fast and well built. And as for Kardashian...um...well...you know.

Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo

and singer Jessica Simpson

Although she is from Texas, Dallas sports fans are no longer fans of Simpson, as she showed up to a couple games in which Romo played terrible and the Cowboys lost. When they sat courtside at a Dallas Mavericks game pictured below, they lost a heartbreaker to the Lakers. Talk about a girlfriend curse.

New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady
and Brazilian supermodel Gisele Bundchen

Tom Brady went to New York undefeated to visit Gisele during the week off before the Super Bowl. Then Brady played a relatively lousy game and choked, losing the biggest game of the year. Still though, they do get the award for being the best at their respective careers at this point in time.

San Antonio Spurs point guard Tony Parker
and actress Eva Longoria

Aw, now they are just sweet. Parker is living the dream, coming off an amazing year in which his he led the Spurs to an NBA championship, won the Finals MVP, and married everyone's favorite housewife in Paris. As the longest lasting of these couples and only ones to have already tied the knot, you gotta think they are built to last the longest.

Execute in Crunch Time

Last night I found myself watching the Spurs comeback to beat the Clippers and the Lakers fall to the Bobcats. The Spurs were simply on cruise control and biding their time for most of the game, before flipping on the switch in the fourth quarter and shutting out the Clippers as Ginobli, Duncan, Parker, and Finley took over down the final two minutes. Granted, it was the Clippers. But still, any team that has the ability to execute in crunch time like the Spurs do is a lock to have success during the intense finishes in playoff games.

After the Spurs' comeback, the Lakers were desperately trying to do a similar feat on their own homecourt as well. For a team that is the best built for the playoffs, with the best player in the world who happens to be the best clutch performer, they were anything but. Instead, the Lakers were scrambling on defense, giving up easy penetration and wide open three point shots to a bunch of no-names. Granted, it was the Bobcats and the Lakers were due to put up a dud of a game, especially without Bynum, Gasol, and Ariza.

I will not miss out on the chance to compare the Spurs and Lakers, however. In my mind, these are the two favorites to represent the Western Conference in the NBA Finals. The veteran Spurs are poised and primed and look ready for the playoffs executing in crunch time while the Lakers, in the same type of situation, self-destructed against a lousy team. After watching last night's games, it was no contest as to which team is best suited to win come playoff time.

Instead of taking over the game in the fourth quarter as usual, Kobe Bryant got the second of his two technical fouls and consequently got ejected. Now Kobe has a league leading 15 technical fouls. A player or coach receives an automatic one-game suspension after receiving his 16th technical foul. Every other technical foul beyond 16 (18, 20, 22, etc.) will also result in a one-game suspension without pay. Going into the playoffs, Kobe will now have to significantly cut back on his constant complaining and whining to the officials, or be faced with the possibility of severely hurting his team down the stretch and in a vital playoff game.

8'5", 240

It has come to my attention that people refer to me as Vishal the tall guy.

Apparently, they have not met this guy.

Tatupu's Good Friday

The Seattle Seahawks have locked up their stud middle linebacker Lofa Tatupu through 2015. His extension is worth $42 million, $27 of which will be paid in the first three years.

Tatupu was the leader of the USC championship defenses for two years, and has turned out to be one of the Seahawks' most brilliant draft picks, earning three Pro Bowl selections in his first three years in the NFL, with many more sure to come.

With assistant head coach Jim Mora to take over the Seahawks after the 2008 season, it seems Seattle is more defensive minded than the past Mike Holmgren years, which featured superb offenses supported by weaker defenses.

168, 116

Denver trounces Seattle by 52.

90210

Oh no.

Madness in the OC

The UC Irvine Anteaters upset the #1 seeded UC Santa Barbara Gauchos tonight 55-50, advancing to the finals of the Big West Tournament tomorrow night in Anaheim. The winner of tomorrow's UC Irvine vs CS Fullerton matchup will advance to the field of 65 teams, the Big Dance, the NCAA Tournament.

In order words, UC Irvine is just ONE WIN away from making history, and I have the opportunity to be part of it. Woo! This is Madness!

Madness!?

I have seen thousands of basketball games in my short life, but I think last night I saw the best one of them all that I have ever seen in person. As anticipation mounts for the NCAA basketball tournament, UC Irvine found themselves as the dark horse in their Big West conference tournament. Every year the top 8 teams of the 9 team conference have a tournament to determine who will earn the Big West's coveted slot in the big NCAA tournament. UC Irvine took care of Long Beach State in the first round, and took on the University of Pacific last night.

The Irvine Anteaters (yes, I know) jumped off to a 17 point lead on the Pacific Tigers, igniting half of the Anaheim Convention Center into a huge yellow party. I found myself high fiving and bumping chests with people I have never seen before, while laughing at our witty hecklers and entertaining mascot. Of course, college players lack the versatility and discipline that we are used to seeing in the pros, and cannot adjust well to the opposition's adjustments and close out games, so a switch to press and zone defenses sent Irvine into disarray.

• The second half was filled with close calls and back and forth action, culminating in a costly turnover when Irvine was up by 3. Pacific converted two free throws cutting the lead to 1 with 17 seconds left, and looked for a quick steal or intentional foul on the inbounds.
• After a questionable no-call, Pacific ended up intercepting the pass. Pacific drew up a great play to get their sharp shooter a decent look at the three to win the game and advance.
• The potential go ahead game winner missed, but Pacific got the offensive rebound only to have the last second putback blocked by Irvine's stud athlete Patrick Sanders at the horn. Pacific was understandably looking for a goal tending call while the Irvine fans exploded in celebration. Let us just say that the bus ride back was just as fun.
• Irvine is two wins away from earning a spot in the big dance, and while it still remains a long shot, it is amazingly fun to even come close to thinking of capturing the magic of a small school having a Cinderella run into the NCAA tournament.
• Madness? This isn't just madness, this is MARCH MADNESS!!!

What if...?

Inspired by another fun Simmons' read, here is a serious of questions with a Seattle Sonics theme:

• What if Michael Jordan did not come back in 1996 when the SuperSonics won the West?

• What if the #8 Denver Nuggets did not upset the #1 Seattle Sonics in 1994? What if the #7 Lakers did not upset #2 Seattle Sonics in 1995? The Sonics were 8-0 against the Houston Rockets in their two championship seasons. Of course, those were also the only two years of the decade in which Michael Jordan was out of the league.

• What if Seattle did not trade Scottie Pippen to Chicago for Olden Polynice?

• What if Wally Walker never existed?

• What if he showed Shawn Kemp the money instead of Jim McIlvaine?

• What if George Karl was never fired?

• What if Nate McMillan was never let go?

• What if Bob Weiss and Bob Hill never happened?

• What if Kevin Durant teamed with Rashard Lewis and Ray Allen?

• What if Allen makes that three to force a Game 7 against the eventual champion San Antonio Spurs in 2005?

• What if Seattle did not draft Mo Sene, Johan Petro, and Robert Swift three years in a row? What if Seattle drafted guys who went later, like Paul Millsap, David Lee, and Al Jefferson?

• What if Seattle never traded away Gary Payton, Shawn Kemp, Dale Ellis, Lenny Wilkens, Jack Sikma, Spencer Haywood, Ray Allen, Rashard Lewis, Dennis Johnson, Vin Baker, Scottie Pippen, Bobby Jackson, Corey Maggette, Mikki Moore, Desmond Mason, Patrick Ewing, and Detlef Schrempf?

• What if the Sonics were never sold to Howard Schultz or Clay Bennett?

The world will never know.

BMW & the Dollar

This quarter I found myself researching a term paper about the declining value of the American dollar, how it is bigger problem than we think, and what steps need to be taken to correct it before its plummet gets out of hand. I was surprised to learn that some in the Bush administration and Federal Reserve actually wanted a weaker dollar. I will not bore you with the details and analysis, but today I stumbled upon a very interesting small story that has altered my outlook:

• The United States has been suffering from a growing trade deficit as companies move operations to a cheaper and less regulated countries.
• With the now declining value of the American dollar, companies such as BMW are increasing production in the United States, bringing jobs back here and spending more money within the country. This is good for our otherwise slumping economy.

Yay!

I may be jumping the gun on both of these because official announcements are still pending, but...

Friday Night Lights is returning!

and

The City of Seattle is renovating KeyArena, which means the Seattle SuperSonics live on!

Yay!

Long Live Leno

Looks like Tonight Show host Jay Leno may not be done in 2009 after all. As the leader in late night ratings, Leno is a hot comodity as ABC, FOX, and Sony have all made it clear that they will be bidding for the comedian's services come next year. When NBC made the decision to promote Conan O'Brien to replace Leno as the Tonight Show host, they did so thinking that Leno would be losing popularity. Instead, he has gone on to dominate the ratings, even through the recent writers' strike. Other notable tidbits:

The Tonight Show earns an estimated $100 million per year.

Leno is estimated to earn about $25 million per year under his current contract with NBC.

Long Live Leno!

Favre retires

3 consecutive MVP awards

275 consecutive starts

160 wins

61,655 passing yards

5,377 pass completions

8,758 pass attempts

288 interceptions

422 touchdowns

All of them number one on the all-time quarterback record list.

Brett Favre retired today, closing the book after an amazing career. What amazes me is that I remember his Super Bowl runs in 1997, and to think that he kept it up through the decade into this past season. He was named Sports Illustrated's Sportsman of the Year, and went out strong leading the Green Bay Packers to surprise 13-3 season, a playoff victory against none other than the Seattle Seahawks in the snow at Lambeau, before throwing the game deciding interception in overtime against the eventual Super Bowl champions, the New York Giants; no shame in that. While Peyton Manning may go on to break those ironman records, the fact remains that we have witnessed one of the best athletes of all time.

Closer

Watching basketball all week long, I am in agreement with the all other NBA fans who are in agreement that this is the best basketball we have seen in a long time. The NBA usually does not become interesting until April and May, and even then it has been criticized as being overly predictable. This year, March is already bringing us the most competitive and intriguing basketball, with several teams having legitimate title hopes.

I have had the honor of watching the Lakers throughout the years, and today I must admit that the magic is back in Los Angeles. The reason why the Lakers have shot up to the top of the list of championship contenders is not just because of the acquistion of Pau Gasol, resurgence of the promising Andrew Bynum, and revival of Lamar Odom as a premier do it all player, but also because of Kobe Bryant's leadership and killer instinct. Down at the half against Portland earlier in the week, Kobe fired up his teammates by yelling "this is the playoffs!" in the locker room, explaining that they need to make comebacks in order to win a playoff series. Kobe is by far, the best closer the game has seen since Mike. When the game is on the line, there is no player whose hands you would rather have the ball in than Kobe Bryant. No other team has a player who even comes close to Kobe.

Except for Cleveland. Against the Bulls today, the Cavaliers found themsevles down at home in the fourth quarter. Then King James takes over: Lebron comes off a pick, elevates and dunks. As the crowd exploldes, Lebron follows it up with a steal and pops a three on the other end. Bang, just like that Cavs up by six with two minutes to go and they go on to win.

I am dreaming of an NBA Finals with Kobe and Lebron trading big shots down the stetch for seven games.

Rams sign Brown

Seahawks stud kicker Josh Brown signed with division rival St. Louis this past weekend for $14.2 million over five years. Brown has kicked many game winning field goals for the Seahawks, including a few to beat the Rams. He was a fan favorite because of his strong leg that could boot 50-yarders regularly, ice in his veins to kick consistently in pressure situations, and for tackling Devin Hester on a kickoff! In 2006, Brown's impact was enormous, as he beat the Rams twice in a year which the 8-8 Rams lost the division title to the 9-7 Seahawks. Now the Rams have stole Seattle's key weapon in deciding close games, and could easily come back to haunt the Seahawks as they meet twice a year.

The save the Sonics mailbag

Thank you Bill Simmons!

Grand Theft Auto: Madden

What happens when you take the best two video games and combine them into one? You get this.

Owners, Save Our Sonics

Before NBA All Star Weekend, Save Our Sonics sent the following letter to the seven NBA team owners who comprise the Board of Governors (BOG), which will vote in April on whether to allow the OKC relocation. Owners from the Miami Heat, L.A. Lakers, Golden St. Warriors, New Jersey Nets, Indiana Pacers, Philadelphia 76ers and San Antonio Spurs received copies of the letter (attached and pasted in full below this release).

Save Our Sonics released the following statement on Monday, February 25:

"We hope the Board of Governors, media and members of the national sports community read the attached information and carefully consider the ramifications of a potential SuperSonics move to Oklahoma City. The upcoming court case set for June is too important to hold a vote on this matter presently because the current ownership group will likely be forced to honor the last two years of its lease agreement with Key Arena. The BOG should vote "No" on the Sonics relocation or postpone a vote until the pending court case is resolved.

"In light of recent disheartening comments by Commissioner David Stern, the BOG is faced with an extremely important decision that not only affects millions of Seattle area residents, but stands to significantly change both the NBA and the entire professional sports landscape. Members of the Sonics ownership group must work with Seattle's city leadership to come forth with a reasonable plan for the future sustainability of Seattle Center, Key Arena and the Sonics."

Please direct any media inquiries to the contacts at the end of the letter, Adam Brown, Steven Pyeatt and Brian Robinson of Save Our Sonics.

To NBA team owners and vested interests:

Outlined herein are the five most compelling reasons why voting "Yes" on the Seattle SuperSonics relocation to Oklahoma City is the wrong decision for an NBA team owner. Please consider the following information and endorse a "No" vote on relocation this April.

The Sonics have represented the city of Seattle through the best of times − including a 1979 World Championship and success throughout the 1990s culminating in a 1996 Finals appearance − and also through the worst of times, which came under the last two ownership groups led by Starbucks chairman Howard Schultz and Oklahoma City mogul Clayton Bennett, respectively. As you are surely aware, Schultz sold the Sonics to Bennett's Oklahoma-based ownership group in July 2006. After only one year of attempting to secure a brand new, $500 million, state- of-the-art arena in the region, Bennett officially filed for relocation to Oklahoma City on November 1, 2007.

As an NBA team owner, you have a responsibility to make decisions that will ultimately lead to a thriving league for years to come. Unlike other leagues, the NBA's owners are closely connected through revenue streams that allow profitable markets to share the wealth. As primary decision makers in the league, your votes in this matter will have critical impact on the future economic growth of the NBA.

Fans have supported this organization for 41 years. It will be a devastating blow to both the city of Seattle and the entire NBA if we lose this prominent market for the following reasons:


1. Fan Support Determines a Sports League's Profits

Seattle has been one of the NBA's most celebrated markets since its inaugural year in 1967. By allowing this move, David Stern is disrespecting one of his most loyal fan bases and disregarding 41 years of local support for the league, opting instead to mortgage the future financial sustainability of the NBA in order to please his friend, Clay Bennett.

NBA fans in Seattle will obviously be crushed by the move, but the impact will ripple into other markets across the nation. Fans will wonder: If this can happen in an historic NBA market like Seattle, couldn't it happen to my favorite team as well?

Hoops fans across the nation will sense a widening disconnect from team ownership and become apathetic about supporting a league that could show such contempt for fans. This move would signify the beginning of the end for a fan's league. The NBA may not recover from such a massive public relations disaster, as the league has recently struggled to reconnect to fans the way it did in the late 1980s and early 1990s.


2. Seattle is the Gateway to the Surging Asian Market

One of the highest rated NBA games this season was between the Milwaukee Bucks and the Houston Rockets - or the matchup of Chinese superstars Yao Ming and Yi Jianlian. Commissioner Stern opened the revenue floodgates by pouring NBA marketing dollars into China, and the country responded with record interest in the league. In December 2007, more than 200 million Chinese tuned in to watch the battle of its homeland stars, as 16 of 19 Chinese television stations carried the live broadcast in mainland China. [1]

Seattle is a leading center of Asian culture in the United States, with more than 507,000 Asian citizens (14.4% of the population)[2] contributing to the area's booming business, engineering and technology industries. Why would the league choose to uproot one of its primary gateways to the blossoming Asian market?

Major League Baseball's Seattle Mariners established the international sports business model by marketing its Japanese star outfielder Ichiro Suzuki to national and international success, but the potential revenue ceiling in China is significantly higher if the NBA takes advantage of its cornerstone Asian market in Seattle.

The league certainly won't gain any international revenue from having a team in Oklahoma City.


3. Seattle is a Superior Market to Oklahoma City

The following statistics demonstrate the advanced revenue potential of the Seattle market compared with the Oklahoma City market:

Population:[3]
o Greater Seattle: 3,524,000
o Greater OKC: 1,240,967

Median Family Income:[4]
o Seattle: $70,133
o OKC: $48,162

Seattle is consistently named as one of the best cities in America, and Forbes recently ranked it fourth among the Fastest Growing Cities in America,[5] with a 22.7% projected GMP growth by 2012. To abandon this market would be akin to moving the Boston Celtics, New York Knicks or Los Angeles Lakers to smaller cities. The league simply wouldn't be the same, and David Stern has already stated that Seattle will not get another team if the Sonics move under Bennett.[6]

Journalists across the nation published their disapproval of losing the Seattle market, repeatedly coming to the conclusion that "there is no conceivable way the NBA would benefit from having the Sonics move from the nation's 14th-largest market to the 45th. [7]"


4. Fans in Seattle Deserve a Chance to Keep Their Team

Clay Bennett and his Oklahoma City-based ownership group purchased the Sonics with the full intention of moving the team to Oklahoma City, as stated publicly by minority owner Aubrey McLendon.[8] This contradicts numerous public statements made by Bennett stating his desire to find a solution to keep the team in Seattle.

""[Clay Bennett and I] didn't buy the team to keep it in Seattle, we hoped to come here [to Oklahoma City]," McLendon told the Oklahoma City Journal Record in August 2007. "We know it's a little more difficult financially here in Oklahoma City, but we think it's great for the community and if we could break even we'd be thrilled."

The NBA and its team owners should not settle for "just breaking even." Commissioner Stern fined McLendon $250,000 for these comments, but even more telling are the other dealings of this ownership group since purchasing the Sonics.

While asking for $400 million from taxpayers to build an exclusive, world-class arena in Renton − a Seattle area suburb located 12 miles south of the city and its season ticketholder base − the Bennett ownership group repeatedly touted the economic and community benefits of having an NBA team in the region.

Bennett's group even conducted its own economic feasibility study to convince legislators to vote for its last-minute arena proposal.[9]

Unfortunately, the proposal did not receive a vote after Bennett refused to provide key financial details deemed necessary by the legislature. Unlike Blazers and Seahawks owner Paul Allen, Bennett's plan did not include any stated investment from the team itself, leaving a huge gap in the feasibility of the proposal. Bennett then filed for relocation with the NBA, attempting to void the final two years of the team's lease at Seattle Center's Key Arena, which runs through 2010.

The city of Seattle filed a lawsuit in U.S. District Court against Bennett in order to hold him to the Key Arena lease, and Bennett's group contradicted itself yet again in court, stating: "There will be no net economic loss if the Sonics leave Seattle."[10] Which is it, Clay?

The NBA should not look kindly upon one of its owners stating that its teams have no benefit to local communities.

While the Sonics current home, Key Arena, is the league's smallest venue, the city has expressed interest in re-working the terms of the lease and expanding the building to become a world-class venue. The city built Key Arena for $104 million in 1994 with 80% taxpayer-appropriated funds, following guidelines specifically approved by the NBA and team officials in the Ackerley ownership group, which said "[Key Arena] is going to be as good as any building in the NBA." And it was - for a few years, while the team perennially finished at the top of the Western Conference in front of sold out home crowds. [11]

It is simply unfortunate timing that other cities began building huge, more advanced arenas such as Chicago's United Center and Denver's Pepsi Center shortly thereafter, putting Key Arena behind the curve almost immediately after its construction. These and other new world-class arenas, however, were built using private funds or as a partnership between ownership and the city - something Bennett has declined to approach.

Despite the city's numerous attempts to reach out to Sonics ownership and broker a deal that works to keep the Sonics in Seattle, Bennett refused to even meet with Seattle Mayor Greg Nickels regarding any plan besides his own.

Adding insult to injury, Bennett & Co. decimated the Sonics chances to be successful on the court by trading its two All-Star players, fan favorites Ray Allen and Rashard Lewis. These moves effectively ensured the team would be terrible, driving local fans out of the arena, intentionally minimizing revenues to facilitate relocation and making a mockery of the team. In 2007, Bennett's group fired Sonics legends Lenny Wilkins, Jack Sikma and Detlef Schrempf from their positions with the team, further distancing the current organization from anything that could be considered part of the Sonics celebrated past.

"They didn't give it a chance," former Sonic and current Celtic Ray Allen told the Chicago Tribune. "You need good veterans around to be successful. But it was a decision they made." [12]

On the same day the Sonics miraculously drew the second pick in the 2007 NBA Draft and the rights to prodigal forward Kevin Durant, Bennett was in Kansas City exploring arena options to move the team. He has no respect for the city of Seattle and its thousands of loyal Sonics fans.

It is now abundantly clear that Bennett only wanted to rob Sonics fans from the start, with no regard for the team's history and 41 years of support. A great NBA owner builds ties with the community; he doesn't sever them and then pour salt on the wounds.

When Mark Cuban purchased the struggling Dallas Mavericks in 2000, he invested heavily in the team and the city, building the franchise into a dominant force and a pillar of the community. Other NBA owners have also made sizable investments in their host communities, strategically developing political and business relationships to help secure public funding for arenas. Prior to filing for relocation, Bennett spent only a few months actively attempting to secure a local arena. During this period, he failed to evaluate the political landscape or engage the fan base, refusing to hold a single meeting with the Seattle mayor's office to discuss options within the Seattle city limits. Bennett never employed a local advertising agency, and he never took reasonable steps to convey a hopeful message to the general public and fans. The Sonics have not made even a pretense of looking for local options since May of 2007.

As business partners, it is appropriate for NBA owners to expect a somewhat equitable effort on the part of all parties. Owners in markets such as New Jersey, Sacramento and Orlando worked hard in recent attempts to secure venues, but Sonics ownership is attempting to shortcut the process and put its own interests above that of the league as a whole by engaging in a high publicized legal battle to void the final years of its lease. As part of this process, the Bennett ownership group has risked the goodwill of the fans and publicly stated that NBA teams bring no value to this community.

A legitimate local ownership group would be willing to work with the city and find a constructive solution to keep the Sonics in Seattle.


5. The New Orleans Hornets are Struggling to Survive

In the wake of the tragedy Hurricane Katrina inflicted upon the city of New Orleans, the Hornets were transplanted to Oklahoma City, where fans embraced the team for two seasons. As New Orleans rebuilds, the Hornets moved back to play at New Orleans Arena at the start of the 2007-08 season.

(Save Our Sonics would never want to deny New Orleans fans their team or encourage a Hornets move to save our own team. We do, however, see the need to present the following facts so NBA interests can make the most informed decision possible on this matter.)

At the time this letter was pressed, the Hornets held a record of 33-15, good for second best in the tough Western Conference. Yet the team is second to last in the league in attendance, drawing a meager 12,453 fans per game on average,[13] a number that is further inflated by free tickets given away within a business model that relies heavily on subsidies. This is a young, exciting team with an MVP candidate in Chris Paul, but the city cannot seem to rally behind them as it has for the NFL's Saints before and after Katrina.

The Hornets recently signed a lease that allows them to relocate after the 2009-2010 season if they fail to reach an average attendance benchmark of 14,735 through that portion of the contract.[14] At this rate, there is no doubt that attendance will be lower than this figure, and the Hornets will be looking for a new home in 2010, conveniently also when the Sonics lease at Key Arena officially expires.

The Sonics, by contrast, are the third worst team in the NBA at 13-36, yet they are only fifth-worst in attendance figures, averaging 13,476 fans despite widespread doubt that the team will even play in Seattle past 2008. This Sonics team, without its two recognizable All-Stars − and with out-of-town ownership insulting the community while publicly facilitating the OKC move ¬− still outdraws the Memphis Grizzlies, Philadelphia 76ers, Indiana Pacers and New Orleans Hornets on a nightly basis. More importantly, Key Arena is filled to 79.3% capacity each night versus 65.8% in New Orleans − this figure also puts the Sonics ahead of the Charlotte Bobcats (74.7%), Minnesota Timberwolves (77.8%), and New Jersey Nets (76.1%) in attendance.

Make no mistake about it: Seattle is a basketball city and Washington is a basketball state, with such NBA stars as Brandon Roy, Jason Terry, Jamal Crawford, Nate Robinson, Marvin Williams, Martell Webster, Luke Ridnour, Spencer Hawes, John Stockton, Detlef Schrempf, Michael Dickerson, Aaron Brooks and Doug Christie having grown up in the area. By voting to allow Seattle's longest running professional team to move, owners are denying themselves a city full of talent and potential billions in financial support. This is the city that set NBA attendance records by drawing more than 39,000 fans to a 1979 game in the Kingdome.[15] This is the city that rocked for the Sonics throughout the 1990s, as teams led by Gary Payton and Shawn Kemp dominated for much of the decade.

Recent NBA team moves and expansions to smaller markets have unequivocally failed financially (Vancouver to Memphis, Charlotte to New Orleans). If Oklahoma City has truly earned an NBA franchise, however, it makes sense to either grant it an expansion team (SOS's preferred solution) or move the Hornets, only since the latter is likely to move and already won the adoration of OKC fans.

The battle for the Sonics is still in U.S. District Court, which set a date of June 16, 2008 to hear the case - right in the middle of the NBA Finals. In light of recent scandals (Tim Donaghy and Malice at the Palace), the NBA cannot afford this bitter fight causing another public relations disaster, which would only soil its credibility and evoke outrage from disrespected fans around the nation. The NBA is a business, but this business can only be run with the full trust and support of its paying customers - the fans.

Please carefully consider the above arguments when casting your vote on the Seattle SuperSonics relocation issue. The facts are clear: Seattle has earned its team through decades of loyal support, and fans deserve more than Bennett has given them. If the involved parties swallow their pride and sit down at the negotiation table, a reasonable agreement to keep the team in Seattle can surely be reached. Key Arena is a beautiful venue for fans to watch basketball, and an efficient remodel can implement the proper revenue streams for ownership to profit financially in this top quality market.

Feel free to contact our organization with any questions on this matter. Vote "No" on a Sonics to Oklahoma City move this April. Thank you for your time and consideration.

Sincere regards,

Adam Brown - Brian Robinson - Steven Pyeatt
Media Advisor Co-Founder Co-Founder
(206) 919.3778 (206) 349.6447 (206) 276.6708

Ow, Yao

The Houston Rockets were the hottest team in the NBA, on a 12-game winning streak, on pace to make some noise in the amazingly competitive Western Conference while making my preseason predictions look good.

Then news breaks that Yao Ming has broken his foot again and is out for the season.

America's Unfaithful Faithful

Leave it to Time Magazine to come up with a catchy title.

CNN.com also covered the same story here.

Amongst the notable tidbits:

More than one-quarter of American adults have left the faith of their childhood for another religion or no religion at all, the survey found. Factoring in moves from one stream or denomination of Protestantism to another, the number rises to 44 percent.

One in four adults ages 18 to 29 claim no affiliation with a religious institution.

The U.S. Religious Landscape Survey estimates the United States is 78 percent Christian and about to lose its status as a majority Protestant nation, at 51 percent and slipping.

Not surprisingly, the "nondenominational" churches are seeing the sharpest increases.

Quotable Shaq

Flexibility

Seattle's Sam Presti was the most active general manager before the NBA's trade deadline, shipping away Kurt Thomas, Wally Szczerbiak, and Delonte West. The key to the Sonics trades were not the players they recieved in return, but rather the fact that they will be at least $26 million under the projected salary cap in 2009 and armed with six first-round picks and seven second-round choices in the next three drafts, as well as two trade exceptions totaling $5.1 million. This allows the Sonics to draft a series of players, some of which have to pan out, and throw some money at free agents in the offseason. They will probably parlay some of those picks and exemptions into acquiring a proven player or higher draft pick. While the arena situation in Seattle looks dire, at least it appears management knows what it is doing in regards to positioning themselves to build a good roster soon.

The Spurs received Kurt Thomas, who will be key in defending the tough big men in the west, keeping Duncan fresh. The Cavaliers received Ben Wallace and Delonte West, providing Lebron some help which may be enough for them to play with the Pistons and Celtics in the East. I am not a big fan of the Kidd deal, because Dallas gave up Devon Harris, a good young point guard who has a longer future than the aging Kidd, and DeSagna Diop, a much needed big man in the growing West. This season has seen all the western contenders bulk up with big centers and power forwards. While the rest of the conference got bigger and better, the Mavs went smaller, trading away a big body needed to bang with the likes of Shaq, Stoudemire, Boozer, Yao, Camby, Gasol, Bynum, Duncan.

The past ten days have been the craziest the NBA has ever seen in terms of big names being traded, all loading up for playoff runs for what has to be the most wide open race with the greatest number of legitimate championship contenders ever. Now the fun begins.

Andy

War and politics are two different things. That is why every now and then it is good to read something like this. Written by a soldier in the event of his death in Iraq, this will force you to count your blessings today.

Super Bowl of Print

In just one single issue, this magazine generates $40 million in advertising revenue, reaching 70 million "readers"



What is in this magazine, you ask? Sports and Sex. Duh.

When I grow up, I want to be Dwight Howard

Just Another Guy

For most guys, today is a day they dread, either in fear of disappointing or, well, disappointment. You are not going to understand why I post this on Valentine's Day until you get to the final punchline. The following is written by ESPN's Bill Simmons, hanging out at a previous NBA All-Star weekend:

Best Random Celebrity Moment Ever

So I'm leaving Jam Session on Saturday afternoon when Sully gives me the "Come to the Four Seasons, we're hanging out in the hotel bar drinking Bloody Marys" phone call. Well, I can't turn down that offer. Not ever. Within 10 minutes, I'm sitting right there with them. And we're hanging out and talking hoops, debating whether to stay for a second drink, when none other than Charles Oakley saunters into the bar with three lady friends, eventually settling at the table right next to us. As soon as Oakley orders a round of shots for his table, as well as a martini for himself, we decide to order a second round of drinks for ourselves. I mean, where else can you drink 5 feet away from the real-life Shaft?

Twenty minutes later? MJ shows up with two friends and stops the room cold. (That's right, two brushes with MJ in 36 hours.) At first, it seems like he's just saying hello, but then we realize he's sitting down. Eventually, they move him into the inside booth, then block him with chairs on both sides so nobody can bother him. (I like to call this the Chair Armada, since it's the exact same strategy that guys use in strip joints when they don't want to be continually approached by below-average strippers trying to pull the "Maybe if I sit right on his lap, he'll feel bad for me and get a lap dance" routine. The Chair Armada never fails.) When Oakley ordered more drinks, we ended up ordering food and drinks for our table. For all we knew, we were staying all afternoon.

(And we did: Our bar bill ended up being like $400. Back to the story.)

Things kept rolling along. People kept walking over to say hello to MJ, pay tribute to him, kiss his ring ... it's almost like he's the real-life Michael Corleone (with Oakley as his Luca Brasi). At one point, his longtime agent David Falk sat about 30 feet away, waiting for an invite, finally giving up and coming over to say hello. (Falk asked MJ, "How late did you stay out last night?" followed by MJ casually saying "7:30," as we nodded admiringly.) And the drinks kept coming and coming and, occasionally, Oakley would get up and saunter around just to stretch his legs and look cool as I made comments like, "I wish you could rent Oak for parties." At one point, he was thinking about ordering food, stood up, looked over at all of us eating, noticed Rich's cheeseburger, asked if it was a cheeseburger, asked if it was good, kept glancing at it, kept glancing at it ... and I swear, we were all waiting for Oak to say the words, "Oak wants your cheeseburger, and he wants it now." But he didn't. He ended up ordering one himself. Too bad.

Well, two hours pass. Everyone finishes eating. The cigars come out. And I'm sitting there saying, "There's no way that the cards aren't coming out soon. It's impossible. MJ has never sat this long in one place without the cards coming out."

While we were waiting for that moment, just to make a strange afternoon stranger, I walked over to Elgin Baylor's table and talked about the Clips with him for 10 minutes (we're getting along these days -- that's a whole other story). And when I returned, the cards emerged, just as I predicted -- they started playing a game called "Bid Wist," a form of spades that's popular among NBA players, with Oakley and MJ teaming up against two of their friends. We got to see MJ's legendary competitive streak in action. He was trash-talking nonstop, snickering sarcastically, cackling with every good card, badgering his opponents to the point that I actually thought one of them would start crying. This wasn't Corporate MJ, the one you and I know. This was Urban MJ, the one that comes out for the black Super Bowl. We never get to see this one.

And I'm sitting there dying. For one thing, I love cards and have a gambling problem. Also, what would be a greater story than Sully and me getting winners against Oak and MJ? Sure, there wasn't a chance in hell, but it was fun to imagine. Meanwhile, the day kept getting stranger and stranger. Around 6, Shaquille O'Neal showed up with his posse, wearing a four-piece suit that caused MJ to joke, "I'm glad you're living up to the responsibility of the dress code." A little bit later, Bucks assistant Lester Conner showed up wearing a red sweatshirt with a giant Jordan logo on it .... when do you run into someone when you're randomly wearing their clothes? And MJ kept getting louder and louder, and he and Oakley were cleaning up, and we're all watching them while pretending not to watch, and then suddenly ...

MJ's wife shows up.

Uh-oh.

Everyone makes room for her. She sneaks in and sits down right next to him. And poor MJ looks like somebody who took a no-hitter into the ninth, then gave up a triple off the left-field wall. The trash-talking stops. He slumps in his seat like a little kid. The cigar goes out. No more hangin' with the boys. Time to be a husband again. Watching the whole thing unfold, I lean over to Sully just to say, "Look at that, he's just like us."

And he was. Just your average guy getting derailed by his wife. For once in my life, I didn't want to be like Mike.

1950s

Wow, how times have changed...

The following is from a 1950's home economics textbook intended for high school girls, teaching them how to prepare for married life:

• Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have be thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they get home and the prospect of a good meal is part of the warm welcome needed.

• Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.

• Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.

• Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Run a dustcloth over the tables.

• During the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering to his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.

• Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Encourage the children to be quiet.

• Be happy to see him.

• Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.

• Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.

• Don't greet him with complaints and problems.

• Don't complain if he's late for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through at work.

• Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or lie him down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.

• Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.

• Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.

• A good wife always knows her place.

The Leno Monologue

Those who thought the writers’ strike would bring down Leno misunderstood the power of his limitations:

One night, Bill Maher called Leno “virtually the only person I know … who could write an entire monologue by himself”—which sounded ridiculously overblown at the time, but on further reflection might actually be true.

By all accounts, Leno works on monologues obsessively—seven days a week, in the middle of the night, in comedy clubs, and on his days off. More than any other comic, he has devoted his life to that opening blitz of rapid-fire topical groaners. It’s his signature achievement. The Leno monologue is always impressively long and covers lots of ground. On a recent night, before he sat down at his desk, he told jokes about 24 different subjects, from botany to Britney to the production of Japanese electricity. Letterman covered only five.

Pundits who thought the strike would cripple Leno misunderstood something fundamental about his art: His act is already essentially crippled. Real stand-up comedy is famously time-intensive; it converts months of solid work into minutes of material, and its tiniest successes depend on superhumanly precise calibrations of tone, pace, and gesture—a discipline antithetical to the relentless, workaday schedule of a talk show. A monologue is, by definition, wounded comedy. We should assess late-night hosts, then, not by their rare bursts of excellence but by how they cope with mediocrity. Leno and Letterman both, at this point, deal mainly in terrible jokes. The question for viewers is what attitude—what existential garnish—do you want on top of them?

Volleyball

I found myself at a UC Irvine - USC college volleyball game on Friday night. For a sport very few of us have truly appreciate, I have to say it was quite entertaining.

UCI raised their national championship banner before the match, in a ceremony featuring the mayor and chacellor making speeches. In what I found to be a very classless act, Trojan head coach Bill Ferguson went over to the refs and said, "we want to play" motioning for them to rush the ceremony. While I understand that his players, were getting antsy standing around doing nothing after stetching and warming up for the past two hours, that is not something he should have done. Sure, the ceremony was of little interest to a visiting team. But coming from a school with such a rich tradition and appreciation of championship level sports, you would think the opposing team would show some respect for the home team's celebration of what they rightfully earned.

By the way, UC Irvine went on to sweep USC, 3-0.

Berkeley protesting Marines

Berkeley's liberal weiners are at it again, this time protesting against American Marines recruiting in their city. This brings up a very interesting philosophical debate within America:

• One side: "The Marine Corps is here to support and defend the Constitution of the United States, which does guarantee the freedom of speech...In terms of the situation in Berkeley, the City Council and the protesters are exercising their right to do so."

• In retaliation, a group of Republican lawmakers have introduced the Semper Fi Act of 2008 -- named after the Marine motto -- to rescind more than $2 million of funds for Berkeley and transfer it to the Marine Corps.
  "Like most Americans, I really get disturbed when taxpayer money goes to institutions which proceed to take votes, make policy or make statements that really denigrate the military," said Sen. David Vitter, R-Louisiana, a co-sponsor of the bill.

shq to phx

The Miami Heat have traded Shaquille O'Neal to the Phoenix Suns for Shaun Marion and Marcus Banks. As always, the commentary on this is endless so I will avoid adding to it. Of course, no one knows for sure how well this trade will work out, but I am leaning towards Scoop Jackson's side.

Super Tuesday

Enough about the presidential primaries, yesterday was all about the NBA. Pau Gasol made an impressive debut in his new Laker uniform, dropping 24 and 12 in New Jersey. Random thoughts on the suddenly relevant Lakers:

• This is a championship contending team. Enough said. Every now and then Stu Lantz will actually say something I do not already know, and last night he pointed out how the Lakers had four starters scoring in double figures in their 15 point win, and Kobe Bryant was not even one of them.

• Pau showed off his post skills very well, but more impressively showed his passing skills. He connected with Radmanovic, Kobe, and Walton several times, amazing considering it was only their first game together.

• Of course, getting Andrew Bynum back will only make the Lakers more dangerous. The twin towers are going to be a force inside, but look for Gasol to play more high post and Bynum more low post. I also think Phil should start and finish the games with them together, but not so much thoughout the game. That is, rest one seven footer while always keeping the other one in the game.

• On offense, having the twin towers drawing so much attention is going to open up so many opportunities for the perimeter players: Kobe of course, but more specifically shooters and slashers Jordan Farmar, Vladimir Radmanovic, Derek Fisher, Trevor Ariza, Luke Walton and company.

• On defense, having the twin towers is going to limit what opposing offenses can do. We have already seen how effective Bynum was alone; imagine having two seven footers anchoring the basket. Gone are the days of the Tony Parkers, Steve Nashs, Chris Pauls, Deron Williams, penetrating to the hoop for easy baskets. They may still drive in the paint, but will have to deal with two towers contesting their shots.

• The biggest winner in the trade: Lamar Odom. LO gets to play more of the small forward position when the twin towers are in together, which is a matchup nightmare for many opposing teams. He is relieved of the pressure of being the Lakers second best player. With the emergence of Bynum and acquisition of Gasol, he becomes the Lakers fourth option. Lamar Odom was consistently given space last night, and took advantage attacking the rim and getting to the line 13 times. He had 14, 15, and 5 only on four field goal attempts. That is efficiency folks.

• Is Kobe a genius or an idiot?
• He may be a genius, because after all the trade demand hoopla and parking lot video nonsense, at the end of the day, he got what he wanted: the acquisition of an all-star. Kobe now has Gasol and Bynum thanks to Kupchak and Buss. Management listened to his whining and delivered. Now it is on him to win a playoff series.
• He may be an idiot. Remember, Kobe wanted Bynum to be traded. Then he wanted to be traded away. Then Bynum emerged as a 20/10 stud and Kobe is on one of the league's top teams, on a roster he wanted no part of just a few short months ago.

• Pau needs a haircut and a shave. That caveman look may get by in Tennessee, but this is Hollywood, baby. Just ask Radmanovic and Vujacic.

XLII

Best Super Bowl Ever.

The once undefeated New England Patriots were stunned by the New York Giants in a thrilling game that was only decided in the final minute of a crazy fourth quarter that featured three lead changes, erasing any doubt to the fact that cheaters never prosper.

The commentary and analysis on this game and its fallout are endless, so I will avoid repeating the same stuff you can get elsewhere and just try to point out a few quirky things:

• Cheaters never prosper. The Patriots cheating and still losing is like if you cheat on your huge midterm exam, ace it, but then fail the final exam at the end of the term and consequently fail the class. The Patriots cheated, aced the regular season, but then ultimately failed their final exam, in the Super Bowl.


• Peyton Manning was shown quite a few times during FOX's telecast, sitting alone in the corner of a suite. Where was the rest of the Manning family?


• The curse of the hot girlfriend. Jessica Simpson shows up, Tony Romo plays poorly and loses. Giselle shows up, Tom Brady plays poorly and loses.


• A buddy of mine brilliantly compared these 2006 Patriots choking to the 2004 Lakers. Those Lakers also were crowned in the offseason after signing Gary Payton and Karl Malone, and also stormed through the regular season and playoffs. After they defeated the Spurs thanks to Derek Fisher's infamous 0.4 shot, everyone thought it was a given that they would win the Finals. Instead, the Detroit Pistons stunned the Lakers, who with four future hall of famers players had to be one of the most disappointing NBA teams of all time.


• I do not understand how Randy Moss can score 23 touchdowns during the regular season, and only ONE during the entire playoffs. Moss was burning double and triple coverage all year long, so whatever head coach Tom Coughlin and defensive coordinator Steve Spagnuolo came up with worked brilliantly, and they will be rewarded.


• This game further proves that the regular season practically means nothing, and that sports is all about confidence and momentum. Whoever gots hot and rolling when it counts ends up being champions.

More Patriot Cheating

An unnamed source has claimed a New England Patriots employee secretly videotaped the St. Louis Rams' pregame walk-through the day before Super Bowl XXXVI, the Boston Herald reported Saturday.

The next day, the Patriots upset the favored Rams 20-17 for their first Super Bowl championship. New England will play the New York Giants in Super Bowl XLII on Sunday in a bid to become the first NFL team to finish a season 19-0.

Spygate Tapes

In amidst of all the Super Bowl hype this weekend, have you noticed it seems that everyone has forgotten that the almighty Patriots were caught cheating this season?

The tapes turned into the NFL were mysteriously destroyed, and while there was plenty of controversy at the time, watching ESPN and reading sports columns all day I rarely hear or see any mentions about the fact that the Patriots cheated. When Spygate is mentioned, it is simply done so to emphasize how Bill Bilichick and the Patriots used it as motivation.

As the Patriots solidify their status as the best team in the history of football on Super Sunday, Congress is stepping in to challenge the NFL's destruction of the tapes that proved the Patriots were cheaters. Because the tapes were destroyed, we do not know how much those tapes helped the Patriots gain an advantage over their opposition. That is, we do not know the extent of the cheating. But we do know that the NFL did not want anyone to know. Hmm.

Now, I am glad to see someone remember Spygate and challenge it. But Congress? I thought we have a war going on, the threat of terrorism, chaos in the Middle East, an economy in recession, a devaluing dollar, a rapidly growing trade deficit, severe lack of healthcare and social security, housing and energy crises, and a tight presidential race that could be decided by something shady again. Kudos to Congress for finding the time to challenge some long gone football tapes.

Pumped up by a Piano

Sonics top Spurs

Yes, that headline is correct. It is no mistake. The Seattle Sonics snapped their 14 game losing streak against the defending champions, the San Antonio Spurs. I felt the way the Sonics celebrated only their 10th win of the season was as if they had just won a championship. I know this because rookie phenom Kevin Durant said, "It felt like we won a championship." Jokes aside, although the Spurs were without Tony Parker, rumor had it that their head coach Greg Popovich may have simply felt bad for his former assistant and current Sonics head coach P.J. Carlisemo and threw his buddy a badly needed win.

More importantly though, what does this say about the San Antonio Spurs? The champs are in cruise control, bouncing about in the bottom half of the western conference standings, and in third place in their own division. While the Spurs may just simply flip the switch and turn it on come playoff time, they definitely need to have their big three completely healthy to compete in the wildly competitive West.

Nail Brady

You know you want to.

The Smarter Sex

Newsweek has a very interesting read on a series of studies of IQ tests between males and females. Nothing overwhelming or groundbreaking is said here, but it does confirm my belief that the dumbest and smartest people on both end of the spectrum are men. The article goes on to say that women underestimate themselves while men have large egos. But you already knew that.

Mo Manning, Mo Money

Check out this article that made the front page of CNN Money.

According to Sports Illustrated, Peyton Manning pulled down a cool $11 million from sponsors thanks to his Super Bowl appearance last year. This article says that little brother Eli Manning has an opportunity to top that in the behemoth that is New York City, even though he is unlikely to win the game.

With the large markets of New England and New York competing in the big game, a 30-second commercial on FOX on Super Sunday is going for an average rate of $2.7 million, or $90,000 per second.

Remember the Seahawks

From ESPN's Hashmarks by Matt Mosley:

The Patriots have made it to town, but the Giants decided to spend an extra day in New York. They'll be arriving this afternoon. In case you haven't heard, Giants coach Tom Coughlin made a big production the other day about how no one remembers who loses the Super Bowl.

"Who lost the Super Bowl two years ago?" he asked his players.

It apparently took them a few minutes to come up with the Seahawks. His point is obvious: Let's not be satisfied with qualifying for the Super Bowl.

Coughlin's feeling a lot better since regaining most of the feeling in his face following the NFC Championshp Game. And yes, doctors were able to save his nose.

where amazing happens.

So I woke up today with absolutely nothing to do. This is a very awkward Sunday, the first Sunday without football in six months. Of course, the geniuses of the NBA decided to unleash a great doubleheader on this weekend in between Championship Sunday and the Super Bowl next week.

So I watched as the Boston Celtics visited the Orlando Magic in a matchup of two division leaders in the Eastern conference, as Rajon Rondo impressed me with his annoyingly good defense and quick plays, Dwight Howard dominated the paint, Rashard Lewis and Brian Cook (!) lead the Magic on a third quarter run, Ray Allen breaks out of his cold slump in time to hit three huge three-pointers late in the fourth quarter to lead a comeback, and Hedo Turkolu chucks up a prayer at the buzzer to break the tie and win the game.

I watched as the Cleveland Lebr-er, Cavaliers visited the Los Angeles Kob-er, Lakers. How great is the NBA's marketing in that they pit the top two basketball players in the world against each other on a perfect day to do so? Again, we saw another wild back and forth matchup that came down to the final possession.

The NBA is uncharateristically wide open, with Boston, Detroit, Orlando, and Cleveland each having realistic chances to represent the East, while the West is even more wide open with the top ten teams within seven games of each other. With the NFL practically in offseason mode already with one game to play, the NBA is about to hit their peak with the all-star game and the playoff race. Throw in a couple great games, and today I remember why I love this game.

One Second

It has sure been a while, and there have been a ton of thoughts and links I have wanted to share but never quite got around to it. But speaking of getting caught up in the things that are not as important in life, this article will touch you to the point where you should reprioritize everything. Remember to spend time with your family, folks. Everything else comes and goes, but we stick with our family forever.

Christmas for Sports Geeks

Championship Sunday!

The Patriots 21-12 victory over the Chargers came despite a three interception day from a banged up Tom Brady, while the even more banged up Chargers settled for four field goals without their top two redzone performers in LT and Gates fully healthy.

The Giants 23, Packers 20 game at Lambaeu was just something else. A temperature of NEGATIVE TWO degrees with a wind chill of NEGATIVE TWENTY FOUR. My freezer is a temperature of -10. That is, the players would have been better off playing in gigantic freezer. It was warmer in the North Pole, which was well into positive temperature. Of course, there was a helluva game played, which ended in overtime after a Brett Favre interception led to a 47-yard field goal after the Giants missed their previous two potential game winners.

The analysis on this great day in sports is endless, so I am not even going to bother adding to it. Rather, just know that if you could only choose one day out of the year to watch football, today was it.

Bolts Shock Colts

With Philip Rivers and LT going down with injuries, Billy Volek and Darren Sproles led the way as the San Deigo Super Chargers stunned the defending champions in Indianapolis, 28-24.

I thought the Seahawks could win...

Twins Marry

This would make a great Bollywood flick.

Oh Matt, you so funny 7

From the Seattle Times' Jerry Brewer:

Seahawks quarterback Matt Hasselbeck plans to have some fun with Holmgren's return. Earlier this week, when asked if he knew Holmgren had his own street, Hasselbeck said, "Holmgren Way? I think there's a Hooters there, isn't there? I'm trying to get a T-shirt that says 'Hooters on Holmgren.' That'd be awesome."

On Thursday, I visited the Hooters for lunch and to see if any of those T-shirts existed. While I was eating, Hasselbeck called the restaurant and asked if someone could get 40 "Hooters on Holmgren" shirts printed. A manager said he'd make the order right away.

Well, that's one way of preserving a legacy.

Pull of FNL

Exactly one year ago I declared NBC's Friday Night Lights the best show on television. It has been a pleasant surprise that the show is surviving, and considering that it keeps on getting better, people are starting to take notice.

Esquire's Chuck Klosterman writes:

Friday Night Lights is such a brilliant, effective TV show that -- sometimes -- I don’t enjoy watching it. Very often, I will feel on the verge of tears throughout an entire episode; it is the most emotionally manipulative show ever made. Part of it has to do with its brilliant use of music; if you play Explosions in the Sky loud enough, the process of hanging drywall can be a life-altering experience. But the larger reason Friday Night Lights is so moving is the way it taps into all the conservative impulses most mediacentric intellectuals try to ignore. The show’s moral code is so traditional and pure that it borders on cliché. It’s reactionary in the best possible way.

LSU

The Louisiana State University finally got the opportunity to win the BCS national championship, and did so decisively in its own back yard, handily defeating Ohio State 38-24. Unfortunately, the BCS title game has yet to ever live up to the hype, leaving everyone to complain about how the college football championship system remains severely flawed.

Seahawks 35, Redskins 14

I never really knew why they called it Wild Card weekend. I think I now know.

• All eight teams played this past weekend led at some point in their single elimination playoff showdowns. The Seahawks and Jaguars had to come from behind in the fourth quarter Saturday while the Giants and Chargers gave up early scores before taking control and advancing.
• The Seahawks were up 13-0 after three quarters of utter dominance. While the banged up Matt Hasselbeck was not his best, the defense was pressuring Todd Collins to the point where he was completely ineffective.
• In the fourth quarter, the Seahawks defense decided to ease back on the blitzes that were so effective, allowing Collins to execute a touchdown drive. Hasselbeck started to press and forced a couple throws, and an interception resulted in another Collins touchdown pass. 14-13, just like that.
• The ensuing kickoff featured the ball getting caught in the wind. Nate Burleson and Josh Wilson both misjudged the kickoff, and the ball sailed over both their heads, where the Redskins recovered and appeared to be well on their way to scoring an unbelievable 21 consecutive points in a mere five minutes. Thankfully, by rule, the ball is dead at the point of recovery. The Seahawks defense made yet another stand, and the Redskins missed the field goal.
• The missed chip shot turned out to be a big swing in momentum, as Hasselbeck stormed down the field and hit DeAndre James Hackett on a play that they had never run before for the go-ahead touchdown. Marcus Pollard catcheds the two-point conversion. 21-14, Seattle.
• Now that he is down with time running out, Collins starts to force passes. Marcus Trufant picks off a pass that sails in the air. Santana Moss could have made the tackle and kept their hopes alive but he gave up on the play and Trufant makes a couple cool jukes and returns it 78 yards for the score to seal the win. Jordan Babineaux adds another pick-six to make it a 21-point victory. Yes, I know the irony is incredible.
• Much of the story before and after the game was the Redskins rallying together after the death of stud starting safety Sean Taylor, number 21.
• But now the story becomes Mike Holgren, Matt Hasselbeck, and the Seattle Seahawks traveling to Lambeau Field in Green Bay to take on Brett Favre and the Green Bay Packers.
• The first thing Matt Hasselbeck said when he came to the podium at the post game press conference was, "I'll just say it right now. We want the ball, and we're gonna score," cracking a smile. The room burst into laughter.

Puncher's Chance

Let's say the Seahawks beat the Skins, and then, in Round 2, somebody shocks the Cowboys and Favre completely self-destructs. Seattle can't win consecutive road games against 13-3 teams, but a home-road-home run isn't impossible, right? By the way, this feels like the 27th straight year that the poor Seattle fans have talked themselves into the whole, "I know we're not that good, but if X happens, and Y happens, and Z happens, we might be able to sneak into the Super Bowl!" It's becoming a January tradition right up there with Vince Carter getting hurt and Fox kicking off a new season of "American Idol."

- ESPN's Bill Simmons